日记 逛商场-忆旧情【严建设】

2024年02月19日 Monday沙尘暴

今日天气照例黄蒙蒙的，天色很差，早起拍发了短视频后，则照例与老妻去逛商场。换了支大口径镜头驱车去了砂之船奥特莱斯，里面人不多，暖烘烘的。在卖场希冀捡漏，有那笨笨的登山靴，原价一两千的现价打两折有我脚码的，然而没有。老妻一再提醒，说现在今非昔比，东西都涨价了，西装可能不好卖了，很多品牌不认得。巡索一圈，没看到心仪之物，就近吃了小六汤包，乏善可陈。拿鲁迅的话说，小六汤包，一元一大盘，物美价廉。虽往日的朋友业已云散，然汤包绝不可以不吃，虽然只有我一人。

午睡梦见与老妻回到太平巷，去拍摄老旧残破的2号院3号院，梦见的场景跟60年前几乎一模一样，那两进的大院，土坯的断壁残垣，逼仄的过道，水井。还梦见故人，梦见2号院中一群人坐在院中闲聊，其中竟有老戏骨。梦见2号院的芳邻刘美容，前文曾叙，系童年时常带我和其妹去挖野菜。恍惚中拿着相机屡屡按不动快门，物是人非颇觉伤感。可谓细雨梦回鸡塞远，小楼吹彻玉笙寒。

午时梦周公，觉身已在60年前之老宅院。季节不详，童心乍现，乐此间之游戏，戏蝶逐蜂，无厌时也。院中有古井，清冽深邃，映天光云影。每逢夏日，井水清凉，饮之甘甜。夏日炎炎，睦邻尝共汲井水，浸泡西瓜。井旁有老梧桐，叶茂枝繁，为夏日纳凉之佳处。庭中有一原色矮木桌，旁设数竹椅、并纺织厂纱线轱辘。睦邻围桌而坐，共叙家常，论天下大事。时而欢声笑语，时而泪眼婆娑。忆及此，感慨万分。院后有土坡菜畦，种青菜白菜。梦醒，觉身仍在现世。思及童年之乐，难抑惆怅。昔日之乐，今已不复得。愿此梦常在，永记童年之乐。

归途想起中学时代一件往事，1973年的5月之夜，我去北柳巷，去单相思女生司玲玲家。那是毕业前夕，我蓦然有个想法，希望趁毕业前夕到班上所有同学家都去走一遭。虽说中学生4年，一直遭班主任谭德荆老师迫害，遭大家批判。但临别之际还会产生些许眷恋，大家毕业后天各一方，也许一辈子见不着了。那一年，班上大多数同学们都来过我家，主要是叫我帮他们修改作文。而我们班和其他班有所不同，同学之间男女界限小，跟其他班级相比，虚与委蛇口不应心还比较虚伪客套。

那天我心情不大好。周永安曾来找我，叫我帮他改一篇作文，我毫不不客气删掉了一部分，又叫我帮他写几首诗，说是配上简谱，在文艺队做歌词排练节目用。很快，我给他写了7首自由诗的歌词，都是按照当年格调，斗志昂扬勇往直前壮志凌云内容，不乏蓝天、大海、雄鹰、红日词汇，押韵而已。当年没留底稿，叮嘱他回家抄后还给我。然后次日晚上丁锡山告诉我，说三老周这货汗小力薄居然能写诗了，下午在班上朗诵过。我听了后，立即去他家索要诗稿，他说他丢了，本来塞在衣服口袋，下午打篮球衣服一脱，回家就咋也找不到。我明白他撒谎，痛斥他几句，怏怏而归。然后在听丁锡山说他背后骂我，关系从此坏了，此后大致40年后才见面。当然我对于老师同学，一般都是以德报怨。前些年他罹患重症，我和韩成学发恻隐之心，倡议并带头在班上老同学群给他募捐过。

当年司玲玲家好像是在北柳巷10号院。还好有个还书借口，我借过她一本《三角函数》，有她父亲名讳。我进院子打听她家，说住后院最里面，然后在平房门前，大声喊她芳名。进屋后很感尴尬，也没说啥，干坐了一会儿脸发热。然后她姐说玲玲你赶快抓紧，时间快到了。然后她说不好意思，我要去和平路儿童电影院看个电影，时间就要到了。我说那就走吧，我们俩由北柳巷转道东柳巷出了巷子。我陪她走到了端履门十字，她得往东走我回家又得往西走，不得不分手，然后也就没说啥，两人一路上没说过一句话就各奔东西，散了。那晚红灯犹存，明月当空。

然后我顺路走进一个哥们叫做刘怀远家，就住在端履门十字。他问我干啥去了，我把事情经过给他说了一遍。他说是你咋瓜了，你就不能这么做，你该跟她一块儿去电影院，然后在门口钓张票进去跟人说两句好话换个座位，跟她坐一起，不是事就成了。我想这是亵渎感情耍心眼，绝对不能这么做的，不愿意这样做，他说现在还来得及，你赶紧走吧。实则当年我身无分文，而一张学生票得5分钱。

昨晚追剧，看法国《触不可及》。白人富翁菲利普暗恋一位女士，踌躇半年才斗胆写模棱两可情书，而其男保姆黑人德希斯，只要撞见相中的女人就立马脱裤子。我想，跟文化人谈情说爱非常不易，有些人对心仪的女人可能一辈子都怯于表白。

步履砂之船奥特莱斯，觉其繁盛非凡。货品琳琅，皆世人所求之国际名牌也。于中观之，有华衣美饰，首饰手表，诱人心弦。此间商贾云集，繁华之景如画。观其顾客，或携子女，或与友同游，皆笑容满面，尽享此间繁华。余亦随之欢欣，觉人生之乐事，岁俗不可耐，且莫过于此。然此间繁华非永恒。商贾之竞争激烈，顾客之喜新厌旧，皆为常事。

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