1.才来几天的同事,被大家指使来指使去的,真心过意不去,叫他不用理他们,他抱着一捆文件说:没事儿,我爸爸已经把公司给我了,过几天当总经理了,这几天对我不好的全开走!我这个汗啊!兄弟你咋这低调啊!哥表现得还不错吧!(电视剧剧情进入现实了这是~)
2.去女朋友家,看见女友把她的小侄子打哭了,我就一边指责女友怎么跟小孩子制气,一边安慰她侄子:“好啦!别哭了!你怎么惹你姑姑生气了?”她小侄子:“我就说了句你男朋友好丑啊!她就打我……”,来女友!你继续打,我不拦着……(实话实说也有罪~)
3.早上起来晚了,一边打发儿子吃饭一边帮儿子收拾书包,着急忙慌地赶到幼儿园,老师已经在门口等着了:“对不起老师,早上起来晚了,给你添麻烦了”。“没啥麻烦的,你这么大了就不用上幼儿园了,还是回去把你儿子送来吧”。(特别赶,结果孩子没带上是吧~)
4.儿子每次的作业都要有家长签字,因为工作忙没时间管他,就将自己闲置的印章连同印泥一起交给儿子,让他以后自己盖章就行。没过几天儿子的班主任就打电话来说:“这位家长,您家的玉玺是不是丢了?全班半数以上孩子的作业本上都戳有你的大名,甚至于连我的教案都未能幸免!我......(瞬间成为全班多数孩子的爹~)
5.原来如此~
![](https://p0.ssl.img.360kuai.com/t01d6a1d154f381fb09.jpg?size=864x1920)
6.说得没毛病~
![](https://p0.ssl.img.360kuai.com/t0164b0806568df830f.jpg?size=448x800)
7.要相信~相信啥来着~
![](https://p0.ssl.img.360kuai.com/t018dbf416009289571.jpg?size=723x552)
8.一颗蘑菇云?
![](https://p0.ssl.img.360kuai.com/t01885ebcec98d01ba1.jpg?size=638x766)
9.我知道,我吃过~
![](https://p0.ssl.img.360kuai.com/t015fa5c6b1f4b42faf.jpg?size=722x646)
10.磕完头记得上柱香~
![](https://p0.ssl.img.360kuai.com/t018b3ffa592bb41592.jpg?size=648x567)
11.你能不能半夜来看我~
![](https://p0.ssl.img.360kuai.com/t01fa6d183d40c1e775.jpg?size=593x848)
12.听人劝吃饱饭~听我一句劝,全带走你受不了~
![](https://p0.ssl.img.360kuai.com/t01f6ba53f9e023cdf3.jpg?size=660x624)
13.这就是你喝酒的原因吗~
![](https://p0.ssl.img.360kuai.com/t0181878ae3109915e5.jpg?size=628x334)
14.一包不够,再要一包~
![](https://p0.ssl.img.360kuai.com/t01ed188899d97eca1f.jpg?size=668x740)
15.很欠揍啊~
![](https://p0.ssl.img.360kuai.com/t019cce04d8c41bc6c3.jpg?size=654x771)
16.机智啊!
![](https://p0.ssl.img.360kuai.com/t01799f3fe53585e943.jpg?size=595x949)
17.如果是真的,我希望是假的,如果是假的,那你真该死~
![](https://p0.ssl.img.360kuai.com/t017dd89acf15226013.jpg?size=439x614)
18.他诞生的地方,你永远也触碰不到~
![](https://p0.ssl.img.360kuai.com/t01fcef5e077aa7a6b7.jpg?size=613x829)
19.超级加倍+明牌~
![](https://p0.ssl.img.360kuai.com/t01d3113da16682ebb8.jpg?size=643x490)
20.成何体统~
![](https://p0.ssl.img.360kuai.com/t011e10174768158219.jpg?size=459x689)
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